I know what you're thinking: all-the-things. Your mind is going haywire and not necessarily in a good way. Maybe you just had your fourth meltdown of the day and you just can't stop freaking out about all of the changes that are happening right now.
Listen to me.
I feel you.
Yes. Finding out that I was pregnant was exciting and an answer to our prayers, but it also came with the brilliant, blinding reality that I would never, ever be alone again, that life would be a million times different, and that every action that I take during pregnancy will affect my baby. That's overwhelming. If you're feeling overwhelmed and out of control, good. I would say that's probably a normal feeling and that you're in the right place.
If you aren't feeling that way, go away. (Just kidding). The rest of us anxiety-ridden folk are just wondering how you do it ;)
If you're like me, you have been googling everything lately. From the food you eat to the lotion you wear, and even the weird sounding toot. Or maybe I'm just psychotic.
However, I'm not such a worry wart anymore. And if there's hope for me, there's hope for you. So here's how I did it:
1. Get off the baby boards.
I was incessantly checking like nineteen different "May Mommies" groups to see if what I was going through was normal, but the reality is that no pregnancy is the same. It's actually unfair to compare your pregnancy to anyone else because some people just have it way better than you. I was puking well into the second trimester, I still have pregnancy acne, the heartburn I get keeps me up at night, and even now that trimester two is over, I never experienced any sort of rejuvenated energy of any kind. Some ladies had a bump at like 11 weeks and I just got a noticeable one at 26 (for real, I thought this was a problem). Lucky me, Mattheus is super duper healthy and I am not dying like I was lead to believe at multiple points.
2. Educate yourself
I was super afraid of childbirth. I had a million reasons why I was unqualified and why I would be needing an epidural stat and a hospital to get me through (hello, what if something goes wrong?) Well, then I started reading a lot and doing a bit of research. I totally recommend this book and this documentary. The anxiety I experience about birth now is that I thought that I knew something about it and I actually knew nothing. I am so excited for May to come!
3. Trust the process
Most importantly, I learned to have faith in what my body has been created to do. Women have literally been having babies for thousands of years and it's been completely normal. The best advice that I've been given (by my husband nonetheless) is this: "Jordyn, even though this child is ours, it is God's first. He knew about our baby before we did, and ultimately, He already has a plan for how this pregnancy, your labor, the birth, and the baby's life is going to go. So whether you forget your vitamins one night or accidentally eat undercooked meat, this was never in your control to begin with."
And that's my ultimate advice to you as well. Nothing about this pregnancy is in your control. And you should find comfort in that my friend! We can't mess anything up and we can't beat ourselves up for silly things (like not getting exactly as much water as doc recommended). Take heart, you are going to make it through.
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."
Psalm 139:13-16, emphasis mine